Wow. What a difference a day can make. So, up front, I should reveal a major flaw I have. I hold grudges. Not tiny white lie grudges, but monumental grudges of the nth degree. Last summer two RAs really made me angry–not complain about them angry, but REALLY mad. I almost chose not to come to work this year because I thought my negative feelings towards these individuals might affect my ability to work with them. So, imagine my surprise today when a friend tells me that according to the not-so-favorite RA, she and I are “mending fences.” No.
But the truth is, I couldn’t help but feel a little bad about it. The fact I wouldn’t give this person another chance. That fact is, I just didn’t trust them.
This all got me thinking about our students and the examples we set for them. Of course I would never let my animosity creep into what the students see of our interactions, but I still felt this nagging sense that I was putting this emotional pollution into the world.
Our students are hitting their sexual revolution, they talk like sailors and dress like celebrities. They know little about the great society outside of High School Musical and although they are talented at some things, they lack a sense of social responsibility. Now, it’s easy enough for me to suggest that this will wear away with age, but I have serious concern for their future. And by that, I have concern for my children too.
Tonight, I watched 22 grown boys have a pillow fight for about 3 hours. They used hate language against “fags” and “those gays.” I saw girls talking about what they had done with boys already. I saw a girl wearing a shirt about the Jena 6–when I asked her opinion on it, she told me she didn’t know what it meant, it was a cool shirt.
In light of this, I figure that we have much bigger things to worry about and that I should work on my grudge policy a little more. And even if it doesn’t iron out tomorrow, the least I can do is recycle a little of that anger into new attention to my students.